This is the first in a new series of blog posts I have called "Contractions".
I have created it to briefly address questions that have been raised by clients in order to stimulate their own contractions.
Most of my couples have been coached on the finer points of listening adapted from Harville Hendrix ground-breaking principles of communication. The principles are 100% effective; the problem is nobody uses them!
One has to step out of the competing monologues that drive conflict. When you do this, the cacophony is arrested, stopped in its tracks, leaving us primed to really hear and respond to someone else.
Wherever we are, what we hear is mostly noise. When we ignore it, it disturbs us. When we listen to it, we find it fascinating.
~ John Cage