Wednesday, August 29, 2012
~ P.D. Wodehouse
There's a pressing question bugging me right now: I just bought a book from Dr. David D. Burns, a psychiatrist and, in one of his chapters, he addresses the idea that people who find peace and joy within (as much as people with social skills and self-esteem) are the more desirable to the opposite sex. OK, cool, no biggie, I can work on that. But here's the problem: a study made in Britain by the Social Issues Research Center states that women are mostly attracted to wealth, power and material possessions. Not that it's contradictory but- because I have no money, no power and wealth- how the heck am I to prevent myself from falling flat into the water? So now I'm wondering what's the use, what's the point? How am I to better my odds and social skills and confidence if all the opposite sex wants is money and power?!
I understand your frustration in trying to figure out "the truth" about all this so you can use it as a guide in your social interactions. Unfortunately, scientific studies do not necessarily reveal the truth, let alone approximate it, and for this reason can be very misguiding if you try to turn their social studies into social practice. How does the author of the SIRC study objectively measure power and beauty anyway? These are subjective evaluations, a matter of personal taste that vary from one individual to another. Even wealth cannot really be objectively measured (say in dollars). Compared to most countries, our country is currently wealthy in water. It's all relative.
In a nutshell, my advice to you would be to stick with David Burns and chuck the SIRC study; if you find that improving your social skills also improves your self-esteem, keep doing it! Self-esteem will definitely make you a happier and more peaceful person. It might even make you more money!