pause and mute

A rest is a musical notation sign that indicates the absence of a sound
~ Wikipedia

I've been giving some thought to the importance of silence.  This came up, strangely, when I realized that I could filter out unwanted Instagram "noise" simply by clicking a button.  I also recently learned on Zoom that you could press "mute" on yourself or others to prevent unwanted feedback.

In a musical composition, notation is used to tell musicians exactly how to play and when to pause, rest or mute their instruments. They need to follow the score, keep an eye on the conductor, listen and count- especially the rests- until it's time to come in. This ensures the overall harmony of individual sections.

As wonderful as it may feel to express ourselves, if we want to produce harmony instead of dissonance, music instead of noise, we need to take a page out of the musician's book, and treat silence as important as sound.

quarantine

Prison itself is a tremendous education in the need for patience and perseverance. It is above all a test of one's commitment
~ Nelson Mandela

A quarantine is enforced isolation to contain disease. It was first used in the 1600s when Venetian ships carrying the plague ("black death") were anchored off the mainland for 40 days.  The word quarantine comes from the Italian quaranta giorni, but has earlier roots that hark back to the temptation of Christ, when he isolated and fasted in the desert for 40 days.

As a boundary imposed by external authority, a quarantine can feel like a prison and trigger defiance or resignation.  It's stressful until I overcome the temptation to focus my energy on what is out of my control and focus it instead on what is, and that is: me.

It's tricky because there is a real tension between what is outside and what is inside, a real threat to my personal safety, health and freedom in the form of this nasty virus.  But I can still choose, within my limitations and whether I get the virus or not, to think of this quarantine as an opportunity for personal enrichment and growing my soul in whatever petri dish I'm stuck in.

I don't know about you but for me these growth opportunities always feel dark and stagnant. Until my heart breaks open.

I aspire to be like that prsioner of whom it was said by a friend who worked for the Kairos Prison Ministry: He is the freest man I know.

running on fire

If you're going through hell, keep going
~Winston Churchill

Walk; don't run
~ common sense

I'm all about identifying triggers.  If I know what sets me off, I can avoid it.  That is half the battle.  Prevention.  Sometimes that is the whole battle, if it stops there.

But many times it doesn't.  I can stumble into situations that set me off like a meteor hitting the atmosphere.  It's like a chemical reaction.  Suddenly, I'm on fire!

That's not a fun place to be.  Loss of self-control.  Very damaging.  Potentially very embarrassing too.

I dare say I'm not alone.  I think it is quite human.

The only antidote I've found is self-awareness.  If you have an addiction, name it.  If you have a weakness, claim it.  If you have done wrong, own it.  Own it.  Own it.  Own it.

Humility.

It's not a one-time deal either.  It's an ongoing practice. (Funny how we have to get small to grow up).  That's tough because we're wired to protect our egos. Running on fire instead of getting to know the enemy within, and putting it out.

But so worth it.